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Do you remember your first sexual attraction? Could you even recognize it for what it was? I didn’t recognize mine at the time, but looking back, I now know when it first happened. It was just another day, nothing out of the ordinary. Cassie and I were sitting in our favorite corner burger joint, sipping chocolate milkshakes. She was telling me about her latest crush. I was a late bloomer, not hooked on boys yet. Suddenly, my ears fell deaf, as my eyes fixated on her mouth – the way her lips turned up as she spoke. A strange tingling hit my tummy when her tongue shot out to lick a dollop of whipped cream from her upper lip. I didn’t think much of it at the time. But, it was significant.Over the next year, Cassie’s crushes evolved into dates. She quickly became popular with the boys, and I was, well, best friend to the girl everyone wanted. I lived my dating life through her for a while and loved hearing about all her experiences.At night, when hidden under my covers in darkness, I would visualize her dates. I found her stories arousing – when a boy first felt up her shirt and down her pants. I experienced my first wetness between my legs, playing out her stories in my mind at night, touching myself where the boy had touched her. It’s funny, but I would take turns envisioning myself in her place being touched, but also his place, touching her body. Both scenarios caused my pussy to drip. I wasn’t supposed to have these aches for Cassie, was I?Cassie kept pushing me to like a boy, saying some boys she knew asked about me. My interest piqued a little. Her boyfriend of the week would kiss her in front of me, and I couldn’t look away, focusing in on every erotic detail of their lips touching. I now wanted to be kissed too.There was one boy I fancied. He was quiet, but friendly to me in science class. We started working together on labs and found we had a lot in common. We were both SciFi geeks and he asked me to the new Star Trek movie. As soon as the bell rang, I darted from class and ran to Cassie’s locker. Knowing me so well, she immediately rus escort recognized my excitement.”What? Tell meeeeee!” she shrieked, grabbing hold of my shoulders.”Todd asked me out – to the Star Trek movie!”We hugged each other, squealing.”Okay. I am coming over tonight to help you get ready!””Thank you, Cassie. See you tonight!”~~~Later that evening I examined myself in the mirror. Cassie would be here soon to help with my hair and makeup. I had been through several outfit changes before I decided on my black jeans and a red v-neck sweater. My outfit accentuated my curves pretty nicely. Dressing for Todd had fallen by the wayside. Now, I found myself wanting Cassie’s approval of my appearance.I heard a short knock on the front door, followed by a, “I’m here,” followed by feet pounding up the stairs. “Eeeeeeek!” Cassie squealed when she saw me. “Oh my God, you look hot! Your tits are popping in that sweater, girl!”I beamed at her words, happy she liked what she saw.”Okay, sit. Let me curl your hair,” she said, pulling me into the bathroom. We pulled a chair in front of the counter and I sat down. Cassie started raking her fingers through my hair, trying to decide on a hairstyle for me. Closing my eyes, I concentrated on her fingertips – they felt so good. I suddenly wasn’t as excited about my date, as goosebumps surfaced on my skin from her touches.She decided on a beachy-wave look and began sectioning off my hair and meticulously curling each section. Once finished, she finger-fluffed my curls into her desired look. I looked up in the mirror and gasped. As a low-maintenance girl, a ponytail was my usual hairstyle. This new look was quite different – in a very good way. Cassie beamed at my reaction, obviously pleased with herself. “And now for your pretty face. I think just a little blush, pink lip gloss, and your big eyes will be the feature,” she said studying my face.I blushed a little under her intense gaze. Makeup was kind of an unknown to me as well. She pulled a few things out of yenimahalle escort her purse and went to work. First, she brushed a nude shimmery eyeshadow, followed by bronze eyeliner, topped with black mascara. Her face had never been so close to mine, and my thoughts were traveling to an inappropriate place. After brushing on a little blush, she stood back to analyze her progress. “Oh my God, you look so pretty,” she said smiling.I looked in the mirror and smiled. I did look pretty, thanks to her.”Last touch – lip gloss. Hold still.”She leaned forward again and eyeing my lips, she carefully applied the lip gloss. I fought a strong urge to kiss her, with her face so close to mine. Stop it, I scolded myself. “There. Done. Perfect,” she said, obviously pleased with herself. “What do you think?”I looked up and turned my face side to side, taking it all in. It was perfect – not too little, not too much, just perfect. She knew me very well.We heard a knock at the front door. Todd was here. She hugged me making me promise to call her as soon as our date was over. I walked down the stairs with mixed feelings. However, as soon as I saw him, my hesitation turned to excitement. He looked so cute in his jeans, with a snug t-shirt and jacket. His brown eyes looked me over and his expression revealed his approval of my appearance. Taking my hand he led me to the car. I turned around and saw Cassie watching us out my bedroom window. She was like another child to my parents and it wouldn’t surprise me if she was still there when I returned home, eager to hear all the details. Todd and I enjoyed our movie and I experienced my first kiss that night. The only person I was thinking about when his lips touched mine was Todd.The rest of high school was a flurry of exciting first times with boys. Physical touch with boys drove my thoughts now. This was the path I was supposed to follow, right? The excitement of the first time a boy slid his hand up my shirt and fondled my breasts. And my first time I felt a boy’s fingers between my legs, touching, exploring. Losing my innocence was an exciting, wondrous time. Cassie and I remained close friends, but much of our time was spent with our respective boyfriends. I enjoyed sharing my sexual discoveries with her. She coaxed me to unbutton my boyfriend’s jeans and encircle my first cock. Cocks fascinated me – the way they stiffened, lengthened from my touch. Definitely, boys filled my dreams at night now. My feelings were temporarily sorted out, it seemed.~~~My college yearsCassie and I roomed together in college. Living with her, sleeping beside her, watching her change clothes, stirred up confusing feelings once again. We often showered in stalls next to each other and I often masturbated, thinking about her naked body so close to mine. Visualizing her slender fingers sudsing her smooth skin excited me. Longings stirred within me as I watched her snuggled in her bed at night. She would get hot and kick her covers off, exposing her long legs. Her nightshirt would bunch up around her hips, giving me a peek at her panties. My mind was once again muddled and confused.We each had boyfriends, relationships, breakups, but my relationships became oddly intertwined with hers. I didn’t see the pattern at the time, of course. She would find a boyfriend she really liked and he would pull her time away from me. So, I would find a boyfriend. And I would really like my boyfriend too. Thoughts of Cassie that usually occupied my mind, would temporarily dissipate.Then, something would happen and her relationship would end, and I would find a reason to end mine too. I wanted her to be happy, but couldn’t help feeling a little twinge of excitement when her relationship ended. Always thinking, what if? And I felt guilty and confused about my feelings. Wasn’t it wrong to crave my best friend in this way? We would go back to being adjoined twins for a while until she found another boyfriend. I always seemed to be waiting for the right time … and that time never came. Then, I would find a boyfriend again too and the cycle would repeat. Each time I convinced myself she was out of my reach and lost myself in my boyfriend. This repetitive sequence of events continued throughout our college years. My twisting, turning heart often proved unbearable. God, this hurt!
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